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From my position, I anticipated defeat and I spoke low and sure. I saw the air rolling from beneath the crack of the door, light peeking through in its precarious way, reminded me of the way I can feel your eyes on me when its dark out or the feeling I get when I can't find it in me to tell you the truth. I watch the stars, fickle in the silver sliver of moon, thankful for the cover, feeling the rose coming into the apples of my cheeks, feeling the cold air pinprick my arms and the nape of my neck. You ask me where I've been and I throw my head back as if to motion to the tangles in my hair, as if to tell you what you're thinking about hearing. I can't find it in me to lie, I can't see the motion of our paradox as it shifts ever-so-slightly, and as I squeeze down that last swallow, I shoot you some sideways glance.
I was always there to talk you down or lead you to warmer conclusions, unwind the pressures of daily existence, sweep you up and keep you dustless. And you were a part of my daily bread, my regular routine, my favorite pair of jeans. We would ruin the landscape hand-in-hand, seldom concerned about what we were losing or where we tread, seldom concerned about how the sky looks in the morning, only how it dappled your salted skin. I made home in the billowing folds of your sheet-less bed, on the arching cliff of your effort-dampened brow, in the ambiance that you spread when you enter a room. I found solace in challenging God, comfort in having you beside me day-in and day-out, comfort in showing the world how to introduce us now as this driving force since we'd found each other.
Since the third week of June, I've been seeing the world explode into chaos. It makes me think that the world's condition reflects my own. Kind of like that movie that says it rains when you're sad to a girl. It makes me picture some intricate project ruined by one pin out of place and you're my pin whose place is home. I can wait, wait, wait. I spend my life waiting, that's what I friend said to me regarding our wait that leads to inevitable activities. I suppose if you've been around, you'd know. Maybe people already know. At this point, it doesn't matter....
I miss everyone..............................................
Avi.
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| | Posted 7/8/2009 6:38 PM - 18 Views - 4 eProps - 2 comments
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